Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Self Control. I lack it.

Hello again. It's me, the girl who has no self control.

Well, when it comes to sweets anyway.

My neighbor is an amazing baker. The other night she dropped off about 12 or so delicious oatmeal cookies with dark chocolate chips. This was around 6:00pm. Here was my thought process.

Me: Oh! How thoughtful of our neighbor to bring by these delicious cookies! They look so good and will surely last the rest of the week. I'll give Henry one to taste. And Tyler will probably eat a few for dessert.

Husband: Those look good! Don't eat them all in one day. You'll get sick.

Me: What? ME? Yeah right! As if my stomach could even hold that many cookies. What do you take me for a glutton? Cookie Monster? ME WANT COOKIES. HAHA!

Husband: That's a dumb joke.

Me: I know. Sorry.

At this point my husband leaves the room to attend to our toddler. This is also when my brain decided to speak up.

Brain: Well it's time to get dinner started. You're starving! You better start chopping veggies for this nutritious and delicious chicken salad you plan to make. Mmm. Those cookies look good.

Me: Stop it brain. Focus on cutting these bell peppers.

Brain: But it won't hurt to eat just one right?  I mean, after all you are hungry. And you walked around the beach today which is almost like going on a run. Just slower! You better eat one to tide you over.

Me: Okay brain. FINE. I'll eat JUST one. MMMMMM man these are good. So filling! I probably won't even want any for dessert from how full I feel after eating just one.

Brain: If you noticed, there is oatmeal in these cookies. So it's practically like you are eating no calories since I read somewhere that oatmeal is like a negative calorie. Your body has to burn a ton of calories just to digest it.

Me: I think that's celery.

Brain: You better eat another one. You don't want Henry to see them and think he can eat them. They aren't healthy. He eats to much sugar as it is. You'd be doing him a favor.

Me: You're right. I definitely don't want him to start craving cookies. I better eat a few more so that there are less tomorrow. Okay. Wow. I'm really full. I'll just wrap these up and put them away for the rest of the week.

Brain: Right. Good idea.

I finished dinner and we put the kids to bed. After doing the dishes we decided it was time for dessert.

Husband: Bring me a cookie would ya?

Me: Sure thing! Here you go.

Brain: Why not have some for dessert too? The one's you ate earlier didn't count because you hadn't had dinner yet.

Me: You make an excellent point brain. Don't mind if I do!

Next morning.

Me: Well, I better eat some breakfast before the kids wake up. I'm starving.

Brain: Hey! Whaddaya know! Looks like there's some of those cookies left. Have a few! They've got oatmeal remember? That's breakfast food.

Me: Okay! I'll just eat these seven since they are really small and I'm a big breakfast person.

Brain: I feel sick.

Later that night.

Husband: I had a really long, hard day at work. You know what would hit the spot? One of those cookies. I think I'll just- Heeeeeeeey!!

Brain: I blame you.

Adios! Until the next post.


  1. Ah, so you have a cookie abuse problem, Jackie. There's no reason to be ashamed. Hopefully, hubby can locate a good rehab center close to home and he and the children can come visit on weekends.

    In the meantime, should your neighbor drop off more cookies I suggest you put them in a box and ship them to a starving family in Arkansas who will be happy to see that the cookies are properly disposed of without damaging your sanity or waistline. Do you have a pen and paper handy? I'll give you my . . . er, I mean . . . their address.

    1. Yes! I'm in dire need of help. Do you know of any rehab centers that aren't near a bakery?

      I'd be happy to ship you any extra cookies in the future. Should your package arrive empty, I'd blame the Fed Ex driver.

  2. Lol I'm exactly the same. Absolutely no self control whatsoever 😉

    1. Clearly its problem that affects the masses!